.consuming my thoughts.

.usually when roy

is doing that.

.i am unable to get to sleep

and thus my

thoughts are consumed

by pretty much anything.

.but lately the

same thing weighs heavily

on my mind.

-----

.this past weekend,

while in utah,

i had a first time experience.

.i purchased actual baby clothing.

.for my two beautiful friends

who are expecting babies.

.can you believe that?.

.i had never purchased

baby clothing before.

.i had looked

at the clothing before.

.and purchased

baby things

for friends.

.but i had never

actually purchased clothing.

.it was intense

and 

i am now obsessed.

.oops.

.so to all of you friends.

.go and get pregnant

so i can send

you baby clothing.

.i promise it will be cute.

-----

.i used to think

of babies in a 

surreal kind of manner.

.you know the

dream that i get to decide

what we're having,

how they will look,

blah blah blah.

.don't we all

do that?.

.or am i crazy?.

.okay don't answer that.

.but now i don't care

if it's boy or girl.

.dress or vest.

.tough guy or sweet girl.

.daddy's girl or mama's boy.

.as you can see

it's consuming my thoughts.

.not in a

i want this right now

kind of way.

.just in a 

i'm so excited for one day

kind of way.

.sorry if i'm scaring you

husband.

.ha.

 

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