For the longest time

I was not writing because I (Jenna) was having a hard time with

life.

I felt abandoned by so many people and though my husband is my best friend...

he is not a good girlfriend. :)

The life of a convert is hard...

you lose your:

family,

lifestyle,

passions,

past,

memories,

and so much more.

Of course, that doesn't compare to what you gain.

At times I feel like a newborn baby left on the steps of the orphanage to fend for itself.

I'm not sad about my new lifestyle...

I'm just simply stating that

I wasn't a bad person before.

I didn't smoke or drink or commit crimes before.

(Not that bad people smoke and drink.)

Now I just have truth to establish why I chose not to participate in those things.

I am grateful for my husband....

he is caring when I feel abandoned,

but he doesn't understand the life of a convert either.

I understand all must be converted to the gospel,

even if they were born in the church.

But it's different for "converts."

I am not worried that you will be offended by this

because you know it is true.

I am tired of feeling like it doesn't matter that I changed my life.

It does.

It was three years ago.

So what?

What does that mean?

That it's not hard anymore.

WRONG!

My family still doesn't like it.

And they probably never will.

I am grateful to be a convert

and

 to learn more each day about my new lifestyle.

But it isn't easy!

In the words of Elder Holland about being a Mormon,

It never has been easy

and 

it never will be easy.

I'm sorry for this rant.

But it is hard to have given up everything

only to feel abandoned by what you gave everything up for.

The end.

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